Emotional Interaction Strategies are the unconscious patterns we use to navigate closeness, conflict, trust, and recognition.
They aren’t fixed traits—they shift based on context: how safe we feel, what’s at stake, and what version of ourselves we think we need to be.
The way you interact at work might be polished and controlled. With a partner, you might be intense or avoidant. With friends, you might perform or disappear.
These strategies were shaped early, and while they once protected you, they may now limit connection, authenticity, or peace.
Think of a time you were in a small group of acquaintances—not close friends. Which of these strategies did you use, or which is most important to you?
(Choose the one or two that best reflect how you actually showed up—your energy, your presence, your default stance. These can range from relatively healthy to very unhealthy.)
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Withdraws behind invisible walls You scan for safety, stay on the edge, and manage energy through observation. Your body remains relaxed but unavailable. You often leave early or fade into the background to preserve autonomy. Connection can feel unsafe or draining. You value independence, and sometimes don’t know what you feel until long after. Under serious collapse, this becomes a Schizoid Childhood Adaptation.
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Scans for depth and connection
You’re looking for that one person—the one who “gets it.” You may dive in quickly, sharing emotionally loaded material to test resonance. Small talk feels alienating. If you don’t find a connection, you may spiral internally or suddenly detach, feeling rejected or “too much.” Under serious collapse, this becomes a Borderline Childhood Adaptation.
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Steps in to energize and inspire
You see yourself as someone who lifts the room—through humor, insight, brilliance, or presence. You often feel a natural leadership impulse: “If I don’t guide this group’s energy, who will?” You're sensitive to group dynamics and adjust to keep momentum flowing. When your contribution lands, you light up. If not, you may recalibrate—or quietly withdraw, wondering if the space is worth the effort. Under serious collapse, this becomes a Narcissistic Childhood Adaptation.
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